We have all experienced it and if you say you haven't obviously you aren't working your computer to its full potential or you've got too much free time away from it. I am talking about you're cruising merrily along at altitudes that defy cyberspace logic and suddenly NO INTERNET!!!!!! OMG!!!! Lack of Internet access is a recent favorite of mine and the opinions I am going to express here today are mine and I really don't care about yours.
So I want to know what worth your computer has once its Internet challenged? Do we actually use our computers if we don't have Internet access? Oh sure, you toy around with it a little at first and then when you have checked out every program on it at least twice, you're done. Interest no longer available. Let me give you an example of a typical half hour spent on the Internet.
Saturday 9a PST
Our session begins with the inclination to write a friend an email. So you pull up your email account and begin by choosing your font, but all the fonts on your system are all played out and you want something that says, "Hey, look at me, I'm cool".You are now entering the "out of left-field" zone. Go to search. Enter "free fonts" and you open the first site and "Yeah, that's cool,but I think I can find something even cooler."Click, click, click, click, click, click. Damn, still haven't found the font you know you'll recognize as the "one", but did you see that "one thing?" I'm going to hit my back button and check that out
Saturday 10:30a PST
Yeah here it is. I've heard about that blogging stuff. Who came up with the name "blog"? Is that like "blob" a big pool of about nothing? Or "flog"? I'd rather be flogged rather than read one more blog..Click, click, click, click, click, click. I'm stoked, got a whole bunch of new friends on this site.I knew that code for hidden pornographic pictures if you justread my blog would definitely draw some interest.
Saturday, 12:15 PST
What do you mean you have to sign up for "singlesrus.appearing nightly
from deprived countries.com?" OK, I'll do it. My new friends will just love the pygmies in a snow globe toy.
Saturday, 12:30 PST
Ok, done with the registration, gotta log in to activate the account and go through every page of "No Thanks" or "Skip" and "no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no" I don't want to subscribe, don't have acute irritable bowel syndrome, and even though the virtual family burial plot with individual ring tones sounds fascinating I'm just going to have to pass. The potential for an Internet rage fatality slowly fades.
Saturday 2:30 PST
Oh, I see to download this toy to my profile means I have to install "Chocolate Chip". Oh I get it,You need them for your cookies.
Saturday, 3:30 PST
Why does Microsoft always want to download an update just when you need them not to?What was I doing anyway? Oh yeah that's right a font. See what I'm saying? That is your typical half hour; eight hours later, "I love the Internet and I just want it to come home" kind of day I'm having. You know you got it bad when you leave the bathroom door open just in case someone wants to chat.You know you got it bad when you're leavingIM's for "Tom" on Myspace. And you know you got it bad when you'd rather stay home with your HTML codes and your new friend on the other side of the "web-cam" then leave for any reason. Any reason at all. And if you lose your Internet you will do anything, buy any computer product on the market that even remotely offers a chance at dial-up, wireless or whatever your preferred method.
"Excuse me, Mr Target guy, can I ask you a question?" I was just wondering. I really need to get on the Internet.See my great aunt twice removed is dying from the vapors and she lives in a remote region of the Andes and so it imperative that I find a product that will enable me to communicate with her and the thing is I accidentally uninstalled my modem,my cd-rom isn't working and I have a telephone outlet but no service provider and I thought maybe this wireless optical mouse might do the trick. What do you think?
I really hate life without Internet.
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